Thursday, October 21, 2010

A better day

I'm not a morning person, so when given the chance to sleep in, I jump at it. Even weekday mornings. Especially this week. But not today... My body decided it was ready to get up when the alarm went off which put the rest of my day earlier than planned by almost 90 minutes. A good thing I think.

I got an article today from my advisor who suggested to use a similar technique to start my dissertation proposal. I felt like it was a nudge in the right direction. I have two important meetings next week which will decide if this project is the one is my dissertation topic. Turns out that there is also a college wide research grant for students due next week. All the material I am working on translates over to the application too. Bonus! It'd make for a nice score for my CV.

Today, I am feeling more hopeful. I read an article by Penelope Trunk about confidence and being in control as a solution for curing insomnia. She wrote about doing her research in taking sleeping pills to aid with insomnia. She wrote about how when she was younger and in a mental hospital for her eating disorder, she was told about how people's problems can cause problems and make their problems larger. For example, being anxious about failing at your job can cause failure at your job. You can become so locked in to the fear that it consumes you.

A dark story, yes, but she continued on about how once you set your mind to it, you can affect your outcome. Like a placebo actually. The difference is confidence and the belief in something.

Yesterday, I was contemplating putting myself back into therapy, but it's not helped me very much as I am already a self motivated person. The next step would be to go on an anti-anxiety medication for the next year but who knows what that will do to my body and mind. Today, I just tried to be confident and in the moment. It helped.

And I went to yoga.

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